


Tired of the Ads?

by RosePetalsAndRain



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Han Jisung | Han-centric, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, I guess???, Idiots in Love, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Spotify, Yes we do, background 2min, background jeongbin, feeding the hyunsung tag, hyunsung chaos dynamic, i wrote this in 2 hours instead of sleeping goodbye college grades xx, implied chanlix, they're in LOVE your honour, this entire fic is a spotify premium advert and spotify should sponsor me im broke as fuck, want a break from the ads?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28592352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosePetalsAndRain/pseuds/RosePetalsAndRain
Summary: “So you’re telling me that if I bug you enough, then over time you’ll simply give up resisting me?”The 5+1 au where Hyunjin mentions Spotify Premium ads annoying him so much over time that he ended up getting the damn subscription just to stop the endless nagging. It's only logical that Jisung should use the same method in asking him out, right?
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Kim Seungmin/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Seo Changbin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Comments: 49
Kudos: 310





	Tired of the Ads?

**Author's Note:**

> i am not sponsored by spotify at all but like heyyy ;)) spotify ur so sexyyy ;)))) pay me for promoting u yeah? thanks xx
> 
> a huge thank you to / cygnus (sunsprite) and citrusblush (i still dk how to hyperlink aaa) for beta'ing!!! ur the best <3
> 
> i wrote this in 3 hrs straight running on questionable mentality so dont mind the content, sit back and enjoy <3

Han Jisung is sitting, as per every Wednesday, in the Starbucks of his university’s canteen. It’s prestigious, he knows; but despite having an on-campus, famously-branded bean juice facility within arms reach of his favourite chicken tikka wraps he has for lunch most days, his university really  _ is _ just that: all talk. During each and every governmental inspection (which Felix argues is done daily by robot-pigeons anyway) they have always scored a brag-worthy ‘outstanding’, but that’s only because their professors put on  _ hella _ saccharine acts for each and every inspector, only to drop them the second the door closes behind them and resume their usual, much more  _ chilled _ styles of lectures. 

It’s fair, all things considered. But back to the point: despite the Starbucks in the main canteen, it’s just like any other university.

Which is pointless to mention  _ anyway _ , as the real reason Jisung is sitting here to begin with is sitting right in front of him, babbling on and on whilst Jisung rests his head on his fist and watches intently as a single strand of of blond hair threatens to poke Hwang Hyunjin  _ right _ in the eyeball. 

_ To the left, just a little, shake your head a little - there! Yes - _

“ _ Owch _ ,” Hyunjin grumbles, swatting with animated hands to get the hair out of his eye. “How did that hair manage to pack a knife-worthy punch into my delicate eye sack?”

“Never call your eyeball that again or I’m dumping you,” Jisung laments, straight-faced, as Hyunjin lands a well-aimed kick at his shin under the table. “Cretin.”

“No you,” Hyunjin retorts unintelligently, and with a toss of his head shakes the remaining hair from his face, all threats of further eye injury eliminated. “You can’t dump a best friend, anyway. There’s nowhere for me to  _ go.  _ Anyway, back to what I was saying-”

“Can you start from the beginning again?” taking a purposeful, obscenely loud sip of iced americano, Jisung chances a glance at his friend through his eyelashes. “I want to zone out again so I can brainstorm ways to platonically dump you  _ just _ to spite your earlier statement.”

“Wait - zone out  _ again _ ?”

“Oh yeah, I zoned out the first time, too.”

“ _ Bitch! _ ” Hyunjin kicks Jisung again, and the younger of the two cries aloud, his knee flying into the air on instinct and crashing against the table above it, causing him to groan again. Hyunjin cackles gleefully, clapping his hands at the sight of Jisung’s misfortune. “That’s what you get for not listening to me.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll listen this time, I  _ promise _ . But I’m only paying attention to you because I don’t want my entire leg to be one huge, mushy bruise by the end of the day.” Jisung sticks his tongue out immaturely at Hyunjin, and Hyunjin lunges across the table to poke it, causing Jisung to gag at the taste of  _ goat’s cheese popcorn _ lingering on his fingertips. 

“What kind of musty fool are you to willingly buy and eat cheese popcorn? The devil’s work itself,” Jisung grabs a tissue out of his bag and wipes repeatedly at his tongue, before downing half of his achingly bitter drink in one go to get rid of the taste. “ _ Disgusting. _ ”

“What kind of dusty fool are  _ you _ to  _ not _ like cheese-flavoured things? You like cheese puffs.”

“Yeah, but not  _ specifically _ goat’s cheese  _ popcorn _ ! Where did you even  _ find _ that shit?”

“Your mom gave some to me,” Hyunjin winks, and Jisung throws himself back in his chair in exasperation, his head hitting somebody who just happened to walk past them at that exact time. After apologising three times before they walked away, Jisung turned back to Hyunjin with an expression of pure fury.

“I will genuinely unhinge my jaw and eat you whole in your sleep. The police will find no evidence.”

“Noted. Enjoy the flavour of goat’s cheese popcorn whilst you do that!” Hyunjin beams, hands framing his face innocently, and Jisung only scoffs, looking away. “Now. Back to what I was saying-”

Jisung prompt zones out, as un-promised. Hyunjin talks for another straight five minutes, and Jisung is just about to check his phone for the time when-

“So I just thought, ok  _ damn _ bro, I’ll get the damn feature if it means you’ll stop fucking hounding me about it, you feel? So now I’m a Spotify Premium user-”

“Hang on, hang on,” Jisung interrupts, hands flailing in the air dangerously, “you  _ gave in _ to those ads that follow you everywhere when you don’t have Spotify Premium? Where’s your resilience?”

“It  _ crumbled _ , Jisung,” Hyunjin wails dramatically, and Jisung chuckles. “I got so sick of hearing the same damn ads that I just thought, you know what,  _ fine _ , I’ll give in to capitalism just this once if it means I’ll never hear the words ‘ _ hello, Spotify user’ _ ever again in my entire life.”

“Hello, Spotify user,” Jisung parrots back automatically, and gains another - gentler - nudge from Hyunjin’s foot. He winces anyway, always one to act up on pain for comic relief. “You thrive off bruising me.”

“That’s kinky.”

“Shut your trap.”

Behind the humorous facade Jisung was currently clinging to for dear life, his thoughts were whirring. So technically, this shows that Hyunjin has a weak resolve, right? He could definitely use this to his advantage.

“So you’re telling me that if I bug you enough, then over time you’ll simply give up resisting me?”

Hyunjin blinks tiredly, and Jisung holds back a grin. “What do you mean?”

“Like…”  _ Be casual, don’t be obvious. _ “If I bugged you about buying me coffee every day, eventually you’d do it?”

“Brat. Who do you think brought you the iced americano you’re currently wired on?” With a roll of his eyes, Hyunjin waves his hand. “Next topic.”

_ Nice. He denied nothing. _ Jisung now has a plan - and he is determined for it to work.

  
  


**

**1.**

“So wait, you’re doing  _ what now _ ?” Changbin has confusion written all over his face, and Jisung has half a mind to lick his cheek right now, just because he'd be certain that whatever he’d do this very second, Changbin would be too busy trying to decode Jisung’s words to react. He tries it, ninja-stealthy, and gets shoved away with a hand right to the face as he leans in. Huh. Worth a try.

“Hyunjin said that he got tired of getting Spotify Premium adverts when he was listening to music, so he caved and bought the damn subscription. What’s stopping me from doing the same?”

“Getting Premium?” the poor boy’s face is  _ creasing  _ with confusion. It reminds Jisung of an origami swan.

“ _ No _ \- I’m gonna reverse-psychology Hyunjin into dating me.”

Changbin blinks. “That’s not how reverse psychology works.”

“Eesh, reverse schemerse. My  _ point _ is that-”

“I don’t think you can annoy Hyunjin into returning your feelings for him, if that’s what you’re on about,” Changbin begins fiddling with the strings of one of his bracelets, twiddling the black threads between his forefinger and thumb as he talks. “Isn’t that only gonna have the opposite effect?”

“Absolutely not, who could resist this?” Jisung frames his face, sunshine-style, and pulls the ugliest face possible. Changbin chokes on his spit.

“Has anyone ever told you that your entire face is a legitimate jumpscare?”

“It’s no worse  than your rampallian-ass monkey features.”

“You’re both ugly, now go home,” Jeongin walks into the room, all but throwing his backpack away as soon as the door closes behind him, and leaps face-first onto his bed. “I’ve had a long day and I want to  _ sleep _ .”

“Oh, is my baby tired?” Changbin coos, and Jisung makes a retching noise.

“That baby-voice alone could sour grapes,” Jisung grins, and ducks as Changbin aims for his nose. “I’ll head out. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“What, like  _ not _ trying to get a boyfriend by pretending to be Spotify adverts? I’ll keep it in mind,” Changbin snarks, already having moved onto Jeongin’s bed to run his hands through glossy red hair. Jeongin’s head snaps up, smacking into Changbin’s well-meant head pats, and he flips over onto his back to stare at Jisung.

“You’re not-”

“He is,” Changbin sighs, and Jisung throws up a peace sign as he reaches for the door handle.

“Peace and love, motherfuckers! I’ll see myself out.” And with that, he dips, all but running from Changbin and Jeongin’s dorm to the sound of incredulous screaming and questions being rapid-fired at Changbin from their youngest. He cackles - way to open a can of worms before leaving. He’ll add that to his list of Great Achievements when he gets back to his own dorm.

He’s almost back to his and Chan’s shared room when he sees him - the object of his evil new plan.  _ Hwang Hyunjin, _ he thinks loudly, and immediately changes course to sail across the hallway, stopping his friend from entering his own dorm room with one well-placed arm across the doorframe.

“Oh, hey Jisu-”

“Tired of the ads?” Jisung grins, and Hyunjin groans, rolling his eyes and stepping back. Jisung carries on, unperturbed by the negative energy. “With a subscription to Jisung Premium, you’ll get  _ all _ the benefits of ad-free Jisung. Benefits come as follows-”

Alas, Jisung is cut short with a howl of laughter.

“Jisung premium? That sounds terrifying.”

Jisung falters. “Hang on, let me finish-”

“Benefits? Don’t I already have Jisung benefits, being your best friend and all?”

“No, wait, there are  _ better _ benefits.” Jisung waggles his eyebrows, and Hyunjin mimes slicing his own head off with his hands.

“I’m not gonna suck your dick, for the  _ last _ time, I don’t do brojobs-”

“That’s not where I’m going!” Jisung cries. “Benefits include-”

“I don’t want benefits!” Hyunjin screeches, slapping a hand over Jisung’s mouth, who contemplates licking it, before getting a sickening flashback to goat’s cheese flavoured dust remnants and clamping his mouth closed again. “Let me enter my dorm.”

Jisung glares, mouth temporarily out of order, and Hyunjin removes his hand slowly.

“Benefits include-”

“Oh my  _ god, _ ” Hyunjin groans, but Jisung will  _ not _ be stopped this time.

“-include an entire package of kisses, snuggles and unconditional love. Treats such as dates and occasional gifts are included too, with Jisung Premium only!”

Silence.

“Well, fuck me in the ass and call me Brenda,” Jisung steps forward, squinting, “has the great Hwang Hyunjin finally been rendered speechless? I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Did you just ask me out?” Oh, Jisung decides he  _ very much likes _ this shade of pink on Hyunjin. He snickers quietly.

“Fully and truly. Subscribe to Jisung Premium now!”

Something flickers across Hyunjin’s face, too quick for Jisung to read eloquently, and he shoves Jisung back out of his personal space. “Nein.”

“Don’t reject me in German, wench.”

“Don’t get all up in my face then, you moose,” Hyunjin retorts intelligently, and Jisung pouts.

“That’s not very Premium of you.”

Unbidden, a laugh bubbles past Hyunjin’s lips, and he swats at Jisung halfheartedly. “Thanks, but I’ll let this advert slide. Let me listen to my next song in peace, now, thanks!”

_ Whatever, _ Jisung thinks,  _ I won’t let this little slip-up stop me. _ “Of course, my liege,” he steps out of the way of Hyunjin’s door with a sweep of his arms and bows low as Hyunjin unlocks his door and steps inside. “And a goodnight to you.”

“Goodnight, you strange being,” Hyunjin says, and when Jisung straightens up he feels himself turning almost as pink as Hyunjin did a moment ago at the look on the elder’s face. It seems almost… soft? Tender? -- Jisung is definitely hallucinating. It’s all the blood that went to his head when he stooped low to bow.

WIthout another word, he nods and turns heel, resuming his journey back to his dorm, ready to leap onto Chan at the nearest chance and latch onto his well-built friend like a leech for at  _ least _ the next few hours. He needs Chan hugs, stat.

As he sinks back into annoy-Chan mode, the thoughts of Hyunjin’s unexpected expression fades into the very back of his mind, practically forgotten. Jisung doesn’t give it any more thought for the rest of the night.

  
  


**

**2.**

The next time Jisung tries his Spotify ploy, it’s three days later and he’s spotted Hyunjin walking across campus, freshly out of class. Jisung needs to make this  _ striking -  _ and perhaps the element of surprise will aid him in his case. Dropping his backpack onto the concrete with no worries of who will steal it or where it will end up once this whole ordeal is over, he sprints for the trees, scaling the nearest one (true to his squirrel branding) and  _ waits. _

He’s doing a good job waiting, admittedly. He’s got  _ patience _ . He can wait here  _ all day, _ if needs be, and god  _ damn _ it looks as if he may well be waiting all day, too, at the rate Hyunjin is walking at. Why does this fucker move so damn slowly when he’s got such long legs?

Finally, he makes it onto the path of which the trees begin to line, and Jisung flexes his leg muscles, ready to spring. The tree rustles; leaves begin to fall with his ministrations, and Hyunjin looks up early.  _ Dang it, this wasn’t supposed to happen- _

“Jisung? Why are you in a tree-”

“WHAT’S BETTER THAN SOMETHING AWESOME?” Jisung screams, falling ungracefully from the tree and landing on his hands and knees in front of Hyunjin. The noise and crash earn everybody within the vicinity moving to stop and stare at Jisung, but he presses on, determined. “Lots of awesome things wrapped up in one package! With Jisung Premium, you get hella benefits! These include hand-holding, kisses, and dates! Take my hand to learn more!” Shifting up onto both knees, Jisung holds out a hand, ignoring the sting of impact from concrete as he focuses solely on Hyunjin’s reaction. 

Hyunjin takes his hand, and Jisung lights up like a Christmas tree, until-

“You’re bleeding,” Hyunjin comments, fussing, and Jisung deflates. Oh. He’d thought Hyunjin was taking him up on his Jisung Premium offer…

“Come on, twatbucket, we’re going to clean off your hands before they get infected with campus dirt,” Hyunjin drags Jisung to his feet, dusting off his knees for him as Jisung stares dejectedly at the floor. “Was your backpack the one I saw abandoned back there? Sung, you could have had your notes robbed or something - isn’t your laptop in there, too?”

Oh, yeah - Jisung had forgotten about that. He sprints back over to his backpack, glaring at a seagull that was hopping curiously over to it, halfway to pecking at the zip.

“Begone, whore,” he says, picking up the bag and watching as the seagull walks away before spreading its wings and flying elsewhere. “Seagulls will try to eat anything nowadays.”

“Come on, off-brand Draco Malfoy,” Hyunjin winds his arm around Jisung’s, taking care not to touch his skinned palms, and drags him towards his dorm block, which is closer. “Let’s get you sanitised.”

The advert-approach isn’t mentioned between them again for the rest of the day.

**

“He’s not responding to it at all!” Jisung complains from where he’s sprawled on his bed. Felix laughs, shaking a can of Pringles loudly and enjoying how it echoes around the dorm room. “Stop shaking those sexy bent potato discs and give me attention, I’m moping.”

“Oh, I am giving you attention,” Felix reassures him, uncapping the Pringles tube and pouring a shit-tonne of Texas Barbecue Sauce-flavoured shards into an unsuspecting Jisung’s mouth. Jisung startles upright, coughing slightly, but chews once he realises what it is. 

“Food for the heart!”

“I’m trying to give you food for  _ thought _ here,” Jisung argues, but opens his mouth again once he’s swallowed everything. Felix indulges him, as is the norm in their friendship. “This is why you’re my favourite.”

“I mean, you’ve gotta be getting somewhere, right? Hyunjin’s never told you to stop.” Felix pours himself a handful of Pringle dust, and licks it up out of his hand, reminding Jisung of a sacred horse of some sort. He pats Felix’s head for good measure. “You know already that if Hyunjin didn’t like what you were doing, he would have told you by now.”

“Yeah,” Jisung snorts, jumping when some excess Pringle dust flies up his nose and coughing loudly until the fiery burn of barbecue potato remnants leaves his sinuses. “And he’d  _ really _ vocalise it, too.” Neither Felix nor Jisung were strangers to Hyunjin’s blatant disapproval of this, that and the other - Hyunjin is brutal in his opinions.

“Exactly. So at least you know he doesn’t mind your weird-ass seduction methods, at the very least. If your method is to wear him down, it may be working?”

“You sound unconvinced,” Jisung sulks, holding his hand out for more food. “Soon Hyunjin will just want a break from  _ me _ , never mind my ads.”

“Worst case scenario, you could just confess to him like a normal person, scrawny-ass coward.”

“I’ll show  _ you _ who’s scrawny, you prune-toed motherfucker-”

And yet again, the topic is dropped for the rest of the day.

  
  


**

**3.**

It’s a few weeks later, and Jisung’s attempts to seduce Hyunjin via Premium have still gone unsuccessfully. They’re flopped. Failed. Gone down like a lead balloon.

But Jisung is resilient. He will  _ succeed, _ he’s  _ determined  _ to! If the rising blush he manages to wrangle out of Hyunjin every time he attempts to  _ finally _ break down the barrier between Jisung and Jisung Premium is anything to go by. It keeps him motivated, at the very least.

“Just stop,” Jeongin says to him one day, after another failed attempt that ended in Jisung’s sheer mortification, Hyunjin laughing the whole ordeal off and two spilled milkshakes that needed the help of three diner employees to clean. But Jisung stoutly refuses.

As of now, he’s sitting on-campus, ass parked beneath a willow tree as he stares off into space, lo-fi beats playing quietly through his over-ear headphones. Chan and Felix left him a few minutes ago to get to their respective lectures, so Jisung has a free couple of hours to exist for a little while.

“Hey,” A voice cuts through the sunset-vibes blessing his ears, and Jisung tugs off his headphones, craning his neck to see none other than Hwang Hyunjin standing a few steps away. Jisung grins, and shifts over, patting the grass next to him; an invitation.

“Wassup, ugly,” he greets as Hyunjin plops down beside him.

Hyunjin stares. “I’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands.”

“Don’t Shakespeare me, you cultured motherfucker!”

“At least I’m not an uncultured swine, bitch!”

“I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”

Hyunjin stills, rolling over onto Jisung’s legs. “And how in the  _ fuck _ do you know Shakespeare?”

“I pay attention to your literature rambles sometimes.” Lies. Jisung had spent his hours last night googling Shakespearean and Jacobean insults specifically to use on Hyunjin instead of sleeping. But the latter will never know.

“And I’m a Santa gonk on display in a Christmas garden centre.”

Jisung shoves at Hyunjin. “Stop laughing.”

“I’m not!”

“I can see you laughing!”

“I’m just giving my teeth some fresh air, that’s all-”

“I’ll show you fresh air,” Jisung stands abruptly, grabbing Hyunjin around the middle and swinging him about, sideways, like a rag doll. “I’ll air out your insides!”

“Not my intestines, please, they’re all I have,” Hyunjin gasps, grabbing onto Jisung’s legs for dear life. “I’m too young and beautiful to die!”

“I’ll show you  _ death _ ,” Jisung laments, and drops Hyunjin onto the grass, cackling as he lands with a strangulated ‘ _ oof’ _ . “How does it feel down in he-- NO!”

Hyunjin grabs onto Jisung's legs and  _ pulls _ ; Jisung falls right back down and smacks onto the grass on top of Hyunjin, groaning loudly as Hyunjin’s knees dig right into his stomach. Bile rises in his throat, but he ignores it in favour of screaming, crow-style. His mouth tastes sour.

“Dramatic ass,” Hyunjin mutters, sliding out and away from beneath Jisung before pulling the younger up by his shoulders. “Get up, you’re all grass-stained now.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jisung grumbles, hands flying out to scrabble at Hyunjin’s tummy, and his friend jerks away, mouth opening in a silent scream of laughter. They almost bang heads, and in their haste to  _ not _ get mutually concussed, both pairs of hands fly out to steady each other, where they stay for a minute, panting, close together.

Perhaps  _ too _ close together for Exclusive Bros™ to be.

Jisung’s eyes flicker down to Hyunjin’s lips, just for a split fraction of a second, and when he looks back up Hyunjin is gazing at him with the same softness he saw back on that first night of trying. Heart racing, cheeks ablaze, he leans in-

And goes for the right ear.

“ _ Whether you’re up in the clouds or going way underground, it’s easy to take your Jisung -  _ that’s me, by the way _ \- with you wherever you go!” _ Jisung parrots chipperly, and Hyunjin slumps forward, head on Jisung’s shoulder, not even bothering to groan this time.

“Seriously dude, way to ruin a moment,” he complains, and Jisung giggles quietly before launching back into his speech, carefully memorised. “With Jisung Premium, you can take your boyfriendly-benefits anywhere you wanna go! Classes, dorms, cat cafes, you name it-”

“I will  _ boil _ your  _ teeth _ .”

“Yowch, okay, but be prepared for them to turn soft like pasta,” Jisung fires back. “Spaghetti teeth. I’ll bite you with my al dente chewing bones.”

Hyunjin misses one beat, then two, and facepalms. “Shut up.”

“I have rendered thou, Hwang Hyunjin, utterly speechless and come-back devoid! This is a grand day indeed, I must bellow it from the heavens-”

“I’ll bellow your mom from the heavens,” Hyunjin says weakly, and Jisung giggles again, resting back against the tree again and leaning against Hyunjin as he does the same; happy to let go of the whole advert thing for the rest of today. Right now, he just wants some good quality time (read: bullying time) with his best friend.

  
  


**

**4.**

It’s past midnight -  _ 3:47am _ , to be exact - and Jisung, high on sleep deprivation, is staring unblinkingly down the bluelit screen of his phone with unblinking eyes.

Right now, his only coherent thought is  _ will I wake Felix up? _ \- but a loud snore from his roommate lends him the suspicion of  _ no _ , he’s sleeping like a damn log. One of these days he’ll wake up in a river, or something, when Jisung does him the great favour of returning him to his log family.

Hyunjin’s contact glares at him from where Jisung holds his screen above his head, and without considering anything else, he presses the  _ dial _ button, holding the device tightly to his ear as it rings.

_ Once. _

_ Twice. _

_ Thrice. _

_ Four times. _

_ Five times. _

_ Six ti- _

Jisung is just about to hang up when Hyunjin answers, voice thick with sleep.

“Huh? Jisu-Jisung? You goo--go-good?” he speaks through a heavy yawn, and Jisung can hear the rustle of duvet covers in the background. He grins.

“Get Jisung Premium now, and suffer the benefits of--”

“Oh my god,” Hyunjin says, and hangs up.

Jisung laughs to himself. That one was certainly worth the inconvenience caused.

  
  


**

**5.**

It’s been a whopping three months since Jisung last started the whole Spotify-Boyfriend tirade, and each week has had at  _ least _ one attempt at finally breaking down Hyunjin’s resolve.

Today is the last time Jisung is going to try this particular method of tricking (begging) Hyunjin to date him. He’s got to have tried at  _ least, _ like, one hundred times by now, and it’s really beginning to feel old and completely ineffective.

_ However _ : if this is his last time, he’s going to go out with a bang. He will make this last attempt so damn memorable that not even complete amnesia will be able to wipe the memory from Hyunjin’s mind. Jisung is about to go so damn all-out that he’ll have nothing left to give for at  _ least _ the next two weeks.

Last night, he had spent a good hour or so scuttling between convenience and stationery stores collecting as much duct tape as he could get his grimy hands on. And trust him - there is a  _ lot _ , combined.

Hyunjin is out attending his last lecture of the day, and Jisung is hiding in Hyunjin’s empty dorm with Changbin, Jeongin, Chan and Felix. Usually, he’d never ask so many people to help him with such an endeavour, but, well - his hands are, as of now,  _ otherwise occupied. _

“Damn, you all look so different from up here,” Jisung chirps, sticking out his tongue and trying in vain to lick Felix’s fluffy-looking hair from above. “I have a real bird’s-eye view.”

“Put your tongue back in your mouth or I’ll snip it off before you have a chance to stick it down Hyunjin’s throat,” Felix threatens, making scissor-motions at Jisung as he pulls back another long piece of tape from the rapidly declining roll. Jisung sucks his tongue back into his mouth at lightning speed.

“I still don’t understand why you’re damaging Hyunjin’s ceiling and not your own,” Chan says, looking completely unbothered considering the fact he’s been holding Jisung, horizontally, onto the ceiling for at least fifteen minutes now. His arms aren’t even shaking; the man hasn’t even broken a sweat. It’s a glorious sight.

“Technically, it’s none of our ceilings, these dorms belong to our university,” Jeongin chips in, and Changbin nods wisely, holding up Jisung’s legs. He’s being taped to the ceiling directly over Hyunjin’s bed, so that if anything goes wrong he won’t legitimately  _ die _ falling from the actual ceiling.

“Sung, you’re gonna be up there for like, another hour. Are you sure you wanna do this?” Changbin asks, genuinely concerned for his friend. Jisung grits his teeth and nods, determination spilling from every pore into his body. He imagines it filling up his duct tape nest like helium in a balloon.

“If I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna do it  _ dramatically _ ,” Jisung replies resolutely. “And what better way to make an ending statement than duct-taped to the ceiling? I’m such a genius.” The original plan was to be simply  _ crawling _ on the ceiling like a spider would do, but Jisung’s excited exclamations had been shut down with an exasperated Jeongin explaining the science behind why Jisung physically  _ couldn’t _ do that.

This is the next best thing.

It takes a good forty minutes to plaster inches-thick layers and layers and  _ layers _ of the ugly, grey tape from Jisung and onto the ceiling, and suddenly Felix snickers.

“Hey, aren’t you glad you’re wearing long pants and long sleeves? This shit would hurt like hot wax when you have to shuck it off.”

“Oh shit, I hadn’t thought of that,” Jisung froze in place - well, as much as one can freeze when you’re already stuck in place with tape. “Shit. Is this gonna skin my hands and ankles? I can feel the tears coming already.”

“Scaredy-cat,” Changbin pets Jisung through the tape. Jisung can barely feel it, all things considered, the tape simply too thick to feel through. It feels a lot like the dissociation he’d deploy when his dad would yell at him as a child. “I’ll put ice on it.”

“No need for ice when your heart is right there within you,” Jisung says sweetly, and Jeongin cackles loudly.

“I think we’ve added all the tape we possibly can?” Chan says, and Felix steps back to admire their handiwork. Sure, Jisung physically can’t stay taped to the ceiling without one person supporting his weight from below due to his wiggliness and bodyweight, but for their efforts’ credit, they’ve done a good job. If you ignore Chan flexing below Jisung and holding him up via his torso, it looks great. 

“It could do with some patterns, it’s so grey,” Changbin complains, and Felix holds up a hand, stopping him in place.

“Fear not. I have sharpies.” Stepping neatly around Chan on the mattress, Felix stretches up and begins to write. Jisung cranes his neck to see what he’s writing, but the blood rushes to his head too fast and he holds his head back up, not wanting a headrush whilst stuck to the ceiling.

“Motherfucker! What are you writing?”

“None of your stinky business,” Felix says sweetly, capping the marker again and stepping away to sit on Hyunjin’s roommate, Minho’s bed. Jeongin peers beneath Jisung and guffaws loudly, and Jisung shrieks with rage.

“You’d better not have drawn on my dick, and if you did I hope you gave me a shlong the size of Antarctica-”

The lock on the door suddenly clicks, and the handle turns. Fast as lightning, Felix, Changbin and Jeongin shoot over to Minho’s bed, sitting (and recording on their phones) as Hyunjin and Minho step back into the room, confusion written all over Hyunjin’s face whilst Minho instantly death-drops onto the floor in peals of laughter. A new person steps in behind the two, and snorts, closing the door neatly behind him and leaning against it, simply waiting for what’s next to come.

For a newcomer, this guy is surprisingly chill about seeing Jisung taped to the ceiling. Jisung likes him already.

“Jisung, what in the everloving fuck-”

“Listen to any Jisung, anywhere, anytime, without limits! Ready to go Premium?” Jisung shrieks, and in his enthusiasm moves his hands just a  _ little _ too much beneath the tape, effectively un-sticking the flimsy material from the ceiling and, despite Chan’s pillar of strength supporting him, goes flying at full speed onto the bed beneath him. As Chan is supporting him from his torso, he lands face-first instead of fully horizontally, and despite the pillows cushioning his fall Jisung still feels a blunt pain as his cheekbone slams into contact with the surface first.

He screams in fear, and although he’s already fallen, doesn’t move as he feels Chan scramble out from beneath him, giving leeway for an incredibly concerned Hyunjin to barrel into Jisung instead.

“Sung, what the  _ fuck _ was that? You could have gotten so hurt,” he lectures, and Jisung can only turn his head to the side, the rest of his body stuck to the tape completely. “I know you love dramatics and so do I, but this was  _ dangerous! _ What were you thinking?”

“My other attempts to ask you out via Spotify ads weren’t working, so I thought I’d try one last time but like,  _ grand _ , yanno? And this one didn’t work either, so if you could just help me unstick myself from this duct tape, that would be great, and I’ll wax off my feelings right as you wax off the good stuff. Take a layer of my skin for good measure, I’ve not exfoliated in weeks.”

Hyunjin’s nose wrinkles for a second, and then he’s helping Jisung sit up, duct tape creasing as he folds at the torso to sit up on his ass. “Sit up, rat bastard. So if I rip this tape off you’ll get over me?”

“Absolutely, bro. Already bro-zoned. Bro-tally. Abs-bro-lutely. In fact, I can already feel it happening, yep. Delicious bro-cess. Completely in the bro zone, I understand, got it.”

“Hmm,” Hyunjin hums for a second, hands poised as if to rip the tape off starting at Jisung’s collar bones - but then he stops. “Then I don’t want to take the tape off.” And with those words, he cups Jisung’s face, and plants a kiss right onto Jisung’s mouth.

Their first kiss - and Jisung wrecks it. 

“ _ Mmph -  _ no!” he breaks away, and Hyunjin pouts, looking hurt. “Please… as much as I want to kiss you, I really am stuck. Please do unstick me,” Jisung begs sheepishly, and Hyunjin’s eyes widen, hands scrabbling immediately to help tug the tape away from Jisung’s clothes and skin. Everyone else in the room is eerily silent, and perhaps it’s due to that that Jisung completely forgets about their presence.

Once the tape is completely freed from Jisung, he gets a good look at whatever the hell Felix doodled on it before - it’s a stickman, with the Spotify logo as a face, but with exaggerated cheeks and movement lines indicating jazz hands, along with the words “the S in Spotify stands for Sjisung”. Jisung snorts and kicks it away, loving the regained movement to his limbs, and then he turns back to Hyunjin.

“Why did you reject me so many times, then, if you like me back?” he asks right as Hyunjin leans again. Hyunjin sighs heavily, right against his lips, and grabs Jisung by the head to keep him in place, fingers twining into dark hair.

“I guessed that you were using the  _ hound me with adverts _ technique to wear me down over time like I’d told you that day,” Hyunjin grinned, “and who am I to deny you some fun? It was funny to see all of your attempts.”

“Well, LUCKILY you chose today to finally cave, because this was my grand finale,” Jisung retorts, and then Hyunjin’s lips are back on his, plush and soft and oh-so addicting. Jisung hums happily, and one of Hyunjin’s hands leaves his hair to pull him closer by the waist.

Retching sounds from behind them remind both boys that they’re not, in fact, alone, and Jisung shoots a hand in the air before he’s even done pulling away from Hyunjin. “Oh yeah, who’s that?” he points at the guy who’s still watching, leant against the door next to Minho.

“Oh, that’s Minho’s boyfriend Seungmin,” Hyunjin says, waving dismissively at the two. “Anyway, everyone else - get out. I wanna make up for lost time with kisses.”

“Message received loud and clear, sir, use protection!” Felix salutes and is the first person out, followed by Jeongin, who’s groaning about  _ pda _ and  _ gross _ . Minho makes a noise of indignance.

“It’s my dorm too!”

“You have a boyfriend. Go to his dorm instead,” Hyunjin says, uncaring and unsympathetic, and Jisung is about to add to his comment with a sarcastic remark of his own before he’s cut off with Hyunjin’s insistent lips again, and it’s all he can do but melt into the kiss as the sounds of everybody else leaving the room becomes muted in the background.

  
  
  


Perhaps the hounding method really  _ is _ effective.

**

**+1.**

“Wait.” Jisung sits up, fast, and Hyunjin starts giggling uncontrollably, bringing his hands up to attempt to hide it. “Wait just one darn diddly second.”

“No-”

Just an hour after the duct-tape incident, Jisung and Hyunjin had been making good use of their Jisung Premium benefits -- or they  _ were _ , until Hyunjin had pressed play on a Spotify playlist for background music, only to be interrupted by - yes - an  _ advert. _

“You  _ don’t even have Premium to begin with _ ?” Jisung shrieks, and Hyunjin’s laughter escalates to silent seal-clapping, eyes screwed shut.

“I-”

“That’s an advert I hear! A whole fucking Premium advert,” Jisung howls, fists pummeling the air as if there’s an invisible punching bag in front of him. The damn  _ advert _ is about to become the punching bag once Jisung learns how to astral project into the advert realm. “Was this entire relationship built on a lie?”

“Dramatic fuck, did you even  _ hear _ the rest of my story I was telling you?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, and Jisung blanks.

“I zoned out right afterwards, of course not.”

Hyunjin mutters something under his breath with a roll of his eyes, and Jisung smirks.

“I went on to say that I was  _ going _ to get Premium but then my card details didn’t work, and I couldn’t be arsed spending ages getting rid of the ads when I could  _ literally _ just mute them. And then your greasy self came along and quadrupled the amount of ads I had to sit through! I physically can’t mute you!”

“I mean, you’ve done a pretty good job this past hour at it,” Jisung smirks, and then shakes his head, getting back into the game. “-- So I based a three-month-long endeavour on a story you told me that wasn’t even fully true?” Jisung is screeching at this point. He feels sorry for those in surrounding dorm rooms.

“It  _ was _ fully true! You just zoned out again!”

In the background of their dispute, the advert ends and the playlist Hyunjin had previously pressed play on resumes playing, sweet melodies and soft voices serving as a comical contrast to the loud voices crashing over it.

“Dang, I really gotta stop zoning out so much, huh.”

“It’s alright. If you hadn’t zoned out then you wouldn’t have started trying to date me,” Hyunjin grins, sliding closer to Jisung and grabbing his hand in order to play with his fingers. Jisung’s heart somersaults at the feeling.

“This is why Soundcloud is better.”

“Soundcloud also has ads, dummy.”

“Yeah, but  _ my _ music is on Soundcloud, not Spotify. Good content right there,  _ and _ you don’t have to pay to have your songs play in order of your playlist.” Jisung squeezes Hyunjin’s hand, triumphant at having made a point.

“They should hire you to voice their own ads, then.”

Jisung breathes out a laugh. “Absolutely not. Songs and raps I can handle, but adverts? Awkward as  _ fuck _ . You won’t catch me promoting shit.”

“Hmm.” Sighing, Hyunjin lets go of Jisung’s hand and rolls onto his side, pushing himself up to eye level with his boyfriend. “Enough of that now. I still have three months’ worth of kisses to catch up on before Minho comes back.”

  
  


“Your wish is my command.”

**Author's Note:**

> legend has it that Hyunjin kept the Duct Tape Shell and got it framed ;)
> 
> thanks for reading! lmk if you enjoyed <3  
> twitter: roseseungs  
> tumblr: rosepetalsandrain


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